They weren’t yours to take away

It’s a poem I wrote while recovering from a bad bestfriend-breakup. Something that worked as an acceptance of the events for me.

They weren’t yours to take away,
Things that we both agreed are meant to stay.
The promise we promised to keep forever,
were ours, not just yours, that you packed them along.
I listened to ‘Love You Goodbye’ on loop,
Told myself, there’s nothing that I can do.
Wanted you to stay to the A.M. that night,
and, let me feel the warmth of your hug, one last time.

I miss you. Here, I’m saying it, I miss you. I miss us.
Can’t text you, because you probably won’t reply.
Can’t talk to you, because it won’t go down well.
If I try, I’ll hurt myself more. I can’t do that anymore.
But, again, I can’t bring myself to forgive you.
And, anyway, it’s not like you’re ready to apologise.
You don’t even know what you did,
Your fake innocence, so beautifully reflects on your face.
You moved on quite easily, I wish I could too.
I’m still waiting for my closure,
as this was not the end, in any of our future plans.
I know, I’m not your first prey,
I was a stupid rat, who walked into the cage.
But, in the name of whatever emotions we shared,
I beg you, don’t make anyone else go through this hell.

We spent hours talking about our lives,
You were a beautiful flower in yours,
who needed water to survive.
I gave you all my love, and in return, you threw me aside?
I try to figure out when it all changed,
but your great acting skills fail my brain.
Was it sometime during everything,
or was it an illusion from the beginning?
You were aware of the happiest minutes of my day.
Now I see from a distance, them being someone else’s.
They were my happy moments, not yours to take away.

I deleted the chats, hid the photos, muted your stories,
but these memories, they aren’t escaping my dreams.
The triangle broke into a pair of straight lines,
while you tried to drive me away from people by my side.
Maybe all you were meant to be was a life lesson,
& it took me long enough to understand that,
as I was too busy trying to make sense of it all.
Things would not add up,
Every point conflicted the previous one,
Turns out, you were a really good liar.
But I’m better in finding holes in the plot.

You brought my insecurities to life,
Scared me to death, and made me question the reality.
I cried for hours in a row,
even my pillow couldn’t absorb water anymore.
Don’t you feel a slight amount of regret,
For shattering all the promises in a single moment?
What should I call you, but a liar?
Because only a liar can equate 20 hours to a never.
You made me promise that I wouldn’t be like them.
Heck did I know, they weren’t the problem.
Your lies, so beautifully crafted, are now out in open.
But your cute smile is still keeping so many deaf and blind.
I was under the impression, that what we had was unique.
And, even if I’m pushed away, you wouldn’t feel that again.
But, you proved me wrong within a month,
by developing a similar bond.
You used to rant about how fake he is,
would joke about how jealous he was of us,
and few days later, he got the award I’d been thriving on.

I can go on forever,
talking about how this should not have been the end.
But, I’ll end this poem in the middle of it all,
because if I didn’t get my closure,
how can I give this poem one?