YOU KNOW WHAT’S NOT FUNNY?!

~Sarcasm

From the heavens blessing, never existed, Bing, House, Swanson, Griffin, Stinson and many more.

Sarcasm is definitely not something people deal with everyday; if people are surrounded by uncultured imbeciles. Though having its fair share of complication, sarcasm can be done by anyone; with an IQ greater than 150 (that excludes you ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ followers)

I am very certain that you all have been through that moment
That moment when the other person had more potent
The potent of the retaliated words with blackout quotient
Quotient that led a conundrum face for an atonement.

Translating the poppycock in the ‘jam’ above, you all have been stuck in a situation wherein the person is roasting you maybe (definitely) using sarcasm while you could neither understand the deemed soul nor reply.

To help you emerge out of this panic moment there is SaRcAsM. Which, fundamentally is easy. Its just a mix of words you may know and they might positively not know said in a swift tone only to be supported with a sly eyebrow flick in the end.

So the main goal is to be gentle and not to hurt the dissenters feelings or offend it while you rub its face on the ground which has seen no soil (It being the dissenter). But seriously, don’t offend anyone. Its not cool.

The guidelines for sarcasm are:-

  • Have a good vocabulary. The better more out-classed your words are, the more sway you have over the fool.
  • Know how to use your words. You can not spitball terms so that they MIGHT make sense. You have to process the essence of the phrase you’re about to say.
  • Listen to everything the buffoon has to say. It might plot its on own decimation.
  • Develop an accent. If you use a specific tone while giving a sarcastic comment, it will be prominent to the numbskull which can save you from a beating
  • Never try to make your comment obvious. The latent wit will give you an upper hand
  • Have a witness. for better or for worse. The eyes will teach you to improve.
  • Do NOT rush. Listen, think (fast), savor the moment, take a pause to note down every detail and then pull the pin on the halfwits face.

These are some elementary tips on how to use sarcasm. The guidelines are not restricted to these four points. But, it is a journey which you have to discover yourselves.

Sarcasm is not about being funny, It is about being witty.

Disclaimer:-
The terms such as halfwit, buffoon have been used to address the person bugging you.
The moron has been referred to as 'it'  so as to keep everything gender neutral.

Sarcasm is injurious to conversations.
Be wise.

Note by Aarnav: I’ve always had trouble understanding sarcasm, much like Sheldon. Cracking jokes and making people laugh out loud is one of those things at which I fail miserably. Knowing Yashvardhan in person is like knowing Chandler Bing himself. Due to this, it was the perfect post with which I would like to start this new initiative. Hope you enjoyed it. Stay tuned for more upcoming posts!


Author’s Bio: My name is Yashvardhan ‘jaggi’ Jagnani. I am a sarcastic misanthrope who loves wit more than ecstacy. Huge follower of many fandoms with no shareable political opinion. A person with, as quoted by someone, ‘an intriguing philosophy’.

13 Comments Add yours

  1. Anika Sharma says:

    Good job Jaggi . Finally I think now we would be getting what you were trying to do all these years πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ (without any success). Keep goingπŸ‘πŸ‘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jagnani73 says:

      Yes sharmanika πŸ˜‚

      Like

  2. Oh lord! The outcomes of sarcasm vary so much for me. Like it’s totally dependent upon the person whom I’m speaking to. So yeah, I got to THINK and speak. Getting offended is as SLOW as Chlorine trifluoride ( since you’re a science student πŸ˜›).
    Anyways, great points I must say, MASTER Yashvardhan. And of course, the accent works wonders! (Even a person with an IQ of less than 150 can understand πŸ˜›)
    Hahaha. Thanks for this informative post. Hoping to read more of your work!
    Regards, (seriously! πŸ˜‚)
    Priya.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. jagnani73 says:

      Oh don’t call me master! I’ll have to enslave you for that (this was a dark sarcastic comment, not to be taken seriously). And I’ll keep my posts rolling in, open to suggestions for ANY topic!
      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Do you think I meant it?
        * giving it the deepest thought *
        * not literally *
        I was crying out for disenfranchise and here you are by god’s grace, to listen to my prayers.
        * hoping you got my sarcasm here *
        And by the way, if a sarcasm is explained, it isn’t fun anymore. So yeah, no need to mention it in future. I am quite a smartypant to get it!! Cheers!
        * wishing for zero discord *

        Liked by 1 person

        1. jagnani73 says:

          The problem with explaining sarcasm is that you don’t know who looks like the bigger fool, the explain-er or explain-ee.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Has common sense and analytic skills of humans become so uncommon?!?!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. jagnani73 says:

              Uncommon is a pity word for common sense XD

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Exactly. The breaking news says that dull witted people have taken control of the world these days.

                Liked by 2 people

                1. Aarnav Gupta says:

                  And my brain automatically gives me a Donald Pig face to think of.

                  Liked by 1 person

  3. I think Sarcasm is the most misunderstood thing there could be, because people rarely get it. I’ve had my own experiences where people ending up getting very offended, which was surely not a good thing! I’ve shared this post with a few people I know, who never understood sarcasm. This was a great post, it’ll help those who never get sarcasm and also perfect the skills of everyone who loves being sardonic!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. jagnani73 says:

      Thank you so much!
      It’s hard to understand sarcasm, harder to understand people who don’t understand sarcasm.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Absolutely true! You’re welcome πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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